Thanks for the comments people.
Dru: Dad's in a house where he can't leave (for health & safety and security reasons, you can't have demented people wandering around the streets with no clue about where they live or anything) but where I can ring him or see him whenever. It's a compromise I'm not happy with but I can't think of any other way to work it AND keep Dad safe. Thanks for the idea about what I can take him. Good ideas.
Anthony: It possibly is the best thing I could do but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
It still sucks, but it's getting better.