I'm drunk

I just sent a drunken e-mail to Liz. Not the best idea I've had really. The e-mail is reproduced below:

"I don't know WHY I'm sending this, my conscience just tells me to and I always obey my conscience.

You ARE my friend, I apologise for taking your picture down from my friendship mirror, I was just kind hurt by the Stez thing, it was bad enough at the time (remember 'at the time') for Grace to go out with one of my friends, without you doing the same too, stamping on my heart or what! :P I don't know what there was between you and Stez but I'm thinking that I just read into things that weren't there, because no one told me so I only had my imagination to go on! LOL So I got kinda upset because my imagination was runnning wild (don't ask)!

I DO think you are a good person and again, I am glad to have you and Grace as friends. I take things kind of personally sometimes. I've spent a lot of my life since I was about 8 hiding in my room away from Mum and her temper and recently I've just been coming to terms with that. I do place simple things like "being thought about" higher on my list of priorities than most people. You can score easey points with me just by sending me an e-mail, to show that I'm on your mind somewhere. It honestly makes my day when a friend sends me an e-mail. Bonnie knows this and she makes a lot of my days! :D

Just make sure that whatever Simon does, he doesn't make you feel as crap as he has done.I don't think he will, I can't imagine how hard this 'not talking to him' thing could have been on him, I don't think he'll make that mistake again. LOL. I have at times felt taken for granted but that's just 'cause I'm really vulnerable. I DO like to feel useful, needed, just you know, a part of people's lives, rather than someone who is just there (which is how I feel a lot of the time with nearly everyone, Dave and Stez and Rounce included).

I'm glad you and Simon have finally got it sorted (honestly!) Just take your time, look out for each other (not that you wouldn't, LOL) and do what you feel is right. I'm honestly not cut up about it (and I'm drunk so I'd tell you if I was, LOL). Just be careful, you've both been through a lot of crap to get to this point so make it worth it eh?

Do know that you CAN tell me anything. There's no need to text me at 10:30 at night or whatever. I'm not going to break down in front of you or anything. LOL We seem to have gone to an extreme where you don't actually want to talk to me about anything that actually is important in any way which I find sad, especially considering we COULD tell each other anything just a couple of months ago.

Basically, I don't want to end my Uni life on a bad note with you guys. Just look after yourselves. I apologise for being touchy, but I've been through a lot in my 21 years and I like feeling secure in life, anything that rocks that or upsets that throws me off balance and upsets me and I do go over the top sometimes. You ARE a nice person, just don't use the internet AS much round at my house and we'll get along great! LOL

I'm waiting for Bonnie to get back from her local Blockbusters. She said she won't be long and then we can chat. I haven't had an IM chat with her for AGES and I DO miss her. She is amazing and is always there, no matter what rubbish is bouncing around my head she'll reply to my e-mails and either tell me to not be so silly or tell me that Jorja Fox is annoying (for which I'll tell her off but still, it's fun!)

CDG"

That's not too bad eh? I don't think so. Yes I do give in too easily but she IS a nice person deep down (though I never did get to snog her! :P LOL).

Anyways, am wating for b8bygurl22 to come back online, haven't had an IM conversation with her for a while, she's worth waiting for though! :D