Just found something out

I'm not saying how I found this out but still:

L. has turned into Simon. She wants to have 'fun' with my 'friend' Stez, but she's said to Simon she doesn't want anything serious because she can't imagine being serious with anyone but him. But she still turned him down. Now she's the one wanting to have 'fun' whilst someone is waiting for her. ALSO, this is what made me laugh, Simon suggested the two of them getting together and instead of saying NO outright like she has been doing, she said "no, because it'll just be like before with you not committing". I think I've worked it out. This whole thing was the 'cunning plan' that she talked about ages ago in her LJ. She's made Simon realise he wants her and she's gonna leave him dangling for a bit. She's used me for my internet access (hasn't spoken to me in a week) and is now going to use my 'friend' to make herself feel better. She needs help.

She is SO emotionally messed up. She's been literally obsessed (an unhealthy preoccupation with something or someone [syn: fixation] Source: WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University) with Simon ever since I've known her. It's honestly not love, it's obesession and for her to want to hurt my so-called 'friend' whilst she lets Simon wallow is just heartless, especially when she was complaining of being hurt when he did it! I'd like to let Stez know what he's getting in to but I can't seeing as I don't know about this 'officially' yet and he wouldn't believe me anyway.

I'm feeling 3 things at the moment:

1) I'm appalled at her behaviour

2) I'm honestly glad I'm severing contact because this kind of selfish attitude is just beyond my comprehension.

3) Whilst I may be messed up from the crappy childhood I've lived through (and am just really coming to terms with as I grow older), I'm so glad I'm not as messed up as her. Nowhere near in fact.

My mental and emotional problems seem to be:

• I have low self-confidence in certain situations


• I don't handle rejection well at all (though practice is making perfect :P ) and


• I prefer hiding away in my room with a book then going out socialising where large groups of people are going to be (the local pub's fine but a nightclub, urgh, yuck no!)


Anyways, must iron my shirt, got to go to school in an hour.